The final destination. The grand finale of my journey and the least Australian city that strangely felt like my homeland. Melbourne is the capital that everyone wishes for. Everything you need in life is available here: arts, culture, shopping, global cuisine, nature, beach, three seasons. Almost endless options for entertainment and exploration. And what did I do from all this? Nada.

IF YOU HAVE TO SCREW YOURSELF, YOU HAVE TO SCREW YOURSELF.

At my very first pitstop, I was so keen to explore Melbs to the last bits. But when the time came, my mood shifted entirely, and I couldn’t do anything to awaken my interest. My base was in St Kilda, and I barely got out of there. I literally spent the first three days sleeping, gardening, rolling cigarettes, and sipping George’s excellent cardamon cappuccino.

Let me spill some T about George (my HelpX host). He’s the most sarcastic, mean, and grumpy person I’ve ever met. I loved him! He’s raw and honest, but underneath the harshness, he’s a genuinely caring person.. just gives you a hard caring. Here’s an example: after a few days, I became very sick when he looked at me, summed up my condition with a typical comment (You look terrible.), and then cooked a divine Thai chicken soup for me to get better. Which indeed did the magic. He’s the best, best, best cook. I’ve never eaten such delicious, tempting, mouthwatering meals as the ones he prepared. I also learned a few kitchen tricks from him, which made me even more grateful for his hospitality.

George’s culinary sophistication was the main reason I didn’t feel the urge to immerse myself in the food Canaan outside of his house. The only place I visited was Shanghai Street Dumpling (Little Bourke St) – the dumplings were juicy and delicious, and that’s a good reason for people always waiting in line to get in.

IT COULD BE WORSE.

To balance my purging days (I reached the breaking point in my emotional and mental state), I really needed something to uplift my soul. No matter what, street art is always a healer, and Melbs is like Sao Paulo in this topic.

As for touristy stuff, I only visited the Melbourne Gardens, walked in Chinatown (obviously), and said hi to the sunset penguins (those little fellas are super cute). And based on the suburbs I touched on my mural-hunting walks, I have to say that St Kilda is the best: central location, relaxed, green, and one with a beach.

THE HEART CAN’T BREAK. THE EGO CAN.

More or less, that’s all folks. No fireworks, no enlightenment, just an emotionally exhausting closure. During these 10 days, I felt devastated and ashamed. I felt like I failed so hard, and it was heavy to admit my failure and face the fact that I really had no idea what I was doing. I’m an impostor and a loser. (I think we all have these moments; I just tried to hide from them as long as possible.) In my head, I identified Australia with defeat (blaming 101), and I couldn’t appreciate the blessing and my courage to come here or enjoy the amazing people I met, the beautiful places I visited, the surreal things I saw, and the unreal experiences I lived.

I’m 100% sure that the time will come when I want to return with an open heart and mind to immerse in all the unique experiences of the land of OZ.

Hoo roo.

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