This is my big Australian story, and I don’t know how I feel about it.

I never wanted to come to Australia; somehow, it didn’t call me, and I’ve only met Aussies in Bali, who have a bad reputation for good reasons (generally speaking). So, even though a visit had been in the air since 2017, I hesitated. But then, I fell into the same trap as many of us.. I met an Aussie. Girls! If someone, even jokingly, calls himself a fair dinkum, true blue, dinky die.. run! Run as fast and as far as you can.

I landed in Cairns from Bali, where I had a 12-hour layover before Brisbane. I hadn’t been to Cairns city; from the airport, I headed straight to Holloways Beach and tried to relax there till my next flight. But the first baby steps in the land of OZ were a real culture shock for me. The contrast was so sharp, and I didn’t have the time and space to adapt. Not only the wide, empty roads, the scenery, the interesting (funny) choice of street names, and the Queensland accent made it difficult, but the strict and nonsense smoking rules and the $4.60 cappuccino didn’t help either.

I touched ground in Brisbane on a Saturday night and saw the entire city in only a few hours. I have to say, this is probably the worst thing you can do to yourself in a brand-new place. Balance and continuous dosing are the key; you can’t swallow everything in one bite. Also, I arrived to this music, and its bittersweet taste stuck with me for the following months:

My first 2 weeks in Brissy felt like agony and confusion (mostly because of the pushing-pulling dick interest), and perhaps no need to explain the fundamental vibe difference between a quiet and free jungle island and a monotonous over-regulated city.

The first week, I stayed at Somewhere To Stay, literally checking in and out every second day. No comment. Despite the size and first impression, it’s a good place: perfect location, cheap, many backpackers and work & holidayers, everyone respects the 10 pm quiet time, and the bathrooms are clean.

After slowly losing my patience and mind from the uncertainty, I took some steps to find my ground. Couchsurfing is a bit tricky and requires some work in Australia. First, the hosts are about 95% male. Second, I haven’t seen this many home naturists (at least most mention it in their profile). Third, people use CS as Tinder. Now, put the picture together. During my travels, I was lucky to find hosts who were no freaks, we had great conversations, and I ended up in amazing places – from a cozy German flat and an old Queenslander to a CBD apartment overlooking the harbour.

The second week, I moved to my first HelpX place, and with my own room (and super comfy bed) and some daily tasks, I felt a bit relieved and settled. It was a lifesaver. And although everything was a huge question mark, I started enjoying my Down Under experience.

I spent the last week of September in Alexandra Hills – wait for it – at a wedding venue. Being a hostess at Australian weddings is something I never thought I would do. It was really fun, and I got a taste of caravan life for the first time, listened to midnight koalas, and admired the hand-feeding of kookaburras. The nature reserves around are captivating, and I highly recommend a sunset barbie at Wellington Point – the views are gorg, and you can walk to King Island at low tide.

Queensland is a true Redland, and Brisbane is the redneck capital – ultimately, I love to hate this city. Even though the personal situation killed me inside (no one else to blame, I made it to myself), there are things I really like – and dislike – here.

As a European, the first thing that stood out was the greeting. A simple hello is rude; every interaction is accompanied by a bit of small talk, which, to be honest, is refreshing. In addition, once my ears got used to it, I found the Aussie slang and accent funny and kinda cute.

Another strange thing was that the suburbs are used in orientation; you don’t say that you’re in Brisbane, you say you’re in West End. The distances are enormous, the city is quite hilly, and you need a car everywhere – the only people walking are the ones taking a lunch break in the flat, central areas. I didn’t have a car and missed the daily scooter rides I had in Bali. Surprisingly (although the conditions are given), there are no scooter rentals here.

And one of the reasons I can’t decide whether I like Brisbane is that the energy is stuck; there’s no natural flow. The best example is the continuous red lights – you have zero chance of a long green line. Everything is controlled and regulated, so strict and rigid, on that level where it’s frustrating enough to notice but not bad enough to feel the pain.

I spent most of my time in West End and Highgate Hill. These suburbs have the best neighbourhood vibe. Besides the Farmers Market, there are many artisan cafés, small shops (don’t miss Mappin’s Nursery), the riverbank, and one of my favourites, Highgate Hill Park. Side note: Cruising on the river is okay (check out the free CityHopper), but you’d better not jump in the water.

Although Brisbane is not a street art capital, you can find some really good walls, especially in and around West End.

Kangaroo Point has the best skyline and a nice walk up to the Story Bridge. New Farm feels like the picnic suburb. Another thing I really like about this culture is that people take the time to get together, have picnics, or just go outside. Public barbies (BBQ) and tables are everywhere, and sitting among these groups in this alienated world is heartwarming.

My big no: Fortitude Valley (the nightlife and hospitality center) – I just can’t enjoy this loud, messy, getting drunk vibe anymore. And I can’t make up my mind about South Bank (the event and ultimate meeting point) – I love the bamboo walk and the trippy Flowstate (the only place with flow in the city), but the Streets Beach and the crowd are bad.

By the way, food. Going out is so crazy expensive that Coles and Woolies will be your best friends pretty fast. My choices for groceries and shopping are Westfield Garden City (with Asian stores and 8 Street) and Sunnybank Plaza (the little Asia of Brisbane).

The highlights of Brissy are Mount Coot-tha and the Brisbane Botanic Gardens. Coot-tha provides the best view of the city (day and night), and the gardens next to it have a lovely ambiance and an incredible cacti and succulent collection. There’s also a City Botanic Gardens in the CBD, which is a must-see with its banyan and fairy-light fig trees.

Around Brisbane, there are many options for short or long trips, camping, or just doing any outdoor activities. Even though I let this Aussie fuck around with me, I’m also thankful to him for taking me to places. I probably wouldn’t have seen this much of the city without him, so I recommend not falling in love but finding yourself a local guide.

Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary is probably the first stop for any foreigner arriving in Australia. Koalas look cute and fluffy from afar, but their eyes freak the hell out of me. I’m more of a wombat and platypus person, and luckily you can find them here.

If you seek solitude and want to enjoy the sounds of nature, Kurwongbah has a hidden gem; Sideling Creek is a charming area that hides a tiny, fairy-magical lake.

Sadly, I missed Straddie but visited Bribie Island. The 4×4 in the sand, the beach wallabies, the freaking cold ocean, and seeing the Milky Way with naked eyes for the first time made it a core memory.

I spent the whole month of September in Brisbane, and it was like spring in Europe – still cold, windy, and rainy. Thanks to the weather (and all personal) annoyances, I decided to leave for a warmer and sunnier part of QLD. The Riverfire presented me with a nice farewell which later turned out to be a closure of my illusions.

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